Teaching vs Coaching
“Do you want this to be a teaching moment or a coaching moment?” Even if you don’t read the rest of this post, try using this phrase the next time you need it.
I’ve been through plenty of management and leadership training sessions in my career. I’ve collected all sorts of little tidbits on how to be a better manager, how to actively listen, how to coach, and how to create psychological safety. But this one question is still one of the most practical and impactful tools I’ve carried forward.
While I’m very certain I’m not the only one who has thought to ask my team the above question, it’s something I’ve shared with many fellow managers who were struggling with knowing when to give explicit directions versus when to “coach.”
My simple approach? Ask!
One of the main aspects of coaching is to learn how to ask thought-provoking questions and let your coachees discover answers on their own. Or at the very least, guide them to a path they want to take to solve a challenging situation. Direct answers aren’t given, and the session usually ends with: “Why don’t you try that out and see how it works?”
That said, sometimes direct reports or mentees aren’t looking for coaching — they’re simply looking for straightforward direction. They have a problem they need solved urgently, or can’t afford to fail, and want specific guidance on how to proceed. These are teaching moments.
When I first start managing a new member of my team, I’ll tell them the important difference between “teaching moments” — when I will tell them how I’d recommend they proceed in a certain situation — and “coaching moments” — when failure is OK, but they want to explore their own solution. I emphasize that coaching moments are good for both of us, because maybe they’ll try something new I’ve never thought of, and we both learn together.
The next time the team member brings me a question that doesn’t have a clear answer, I’ll ask them if they want it to be a “teaching moment” or a “coaching moment.” It’s liberating. They know they have the psychological safety to either just get the answer or the space to explore and discover on their own.
As a manager, this simple question opened up relationships within my team and gave people the chance to grow when they wanted to. It also avoided difficult situations where I was quizzing them with a bunch of “5W’s and 1H” questions, when all they wanted was a straightforward answer.
If you’re a manager and having a tough time knowing when to coach and when to teach, just ask. And if you’re an individual contributor, recommend this approach to your manager!
These are exactly the kinds of insights we emphasize at Teamwork Unlocked — the world’s first B2B escape room Singapore experience designed as a leadership training Singapore and team development training program. Our leadership escape room training blends coaching, teaching, and experiential learning in a way that makes team building fun, practical, and unforgettable.
